This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
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You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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