it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
