I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize