her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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