Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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