we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
