That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
