I think my vagina is haunted
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
