so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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