I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
