Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
