Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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