Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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