You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
