I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
