Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
