i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
