do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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