Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
