i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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