**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
