2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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