There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
No more Irish car bombs ever.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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