you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
