Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
