my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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