I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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