I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
