i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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