I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
