I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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