Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize