If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
