i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
