you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
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My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
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Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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