honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize