this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
