there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
