Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
