I wannas sexs uuuuu
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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