I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize