I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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