32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
