Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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