she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
