If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
false alarm. still invincible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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