dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize