Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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