Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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