its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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