"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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