oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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