Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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