It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Randomize
