Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
