About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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