fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
