I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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