we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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