shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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