During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
