I hate all girls vehemently.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
