The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
