If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
